It's a big BIG house.....

Thats a song by Audio Adrenaline but thats not the big house that I'm talking about. I'm talking about the big house that I have lived in for the last 19 years.
The house sits on a nice (Joy)ful RD :-) with many families who came and gone and the few that have been here almost as long as us and even fewer that have been here for life. I've seen many changes go on not only with the face of the houses but in a couple cases I've seen a fire take one down and another was taken down just to rebuild the same house but a bit bigger. I have made friends and lost friends either by a move or divorce. No matter how much time passes the one thing that stayed the same is life changes daily. You may think that life is same Ole same Ole but really everyday is a change...it just depends on how you look at the day.

I look back to my time on this lake from the first days here to the last days here and although I had a blast with fishing (my all time FAVORITE outside activity) and even got to for a short time rekindle a relationship with the person who taught me how to fish my Grandpa. I got to bring him here from a nursing home for a time to which he was able to share with me once again his love...making peanut butter cookies. The hard work he put into making what I thought was the best cookie ever made on earth I found out could be made so much simpler with the 123...1 cup sugar, 1 cup peanut butter and 1 egg. He died before I was shown this easy way otherwise I would have clued him in on this unless he already knew but insisted on taking time out with the kids to show us how one baked cookies. I am a mother now and I have skipped the whole thing and showed Alexis the simple way and nope its not the store kind either. :-)

This house went through some changes while we were here. Not only have we done the 3rd floor we also redone the outside. We took in people to live with us a few times and the last being my mom. If I have ever learned any lesson it was the one that when there are two woman in one house its HARD. To play a double role at the same time was real hard for me. I was my moms baby and yet I was the woman of the house. How to be both takes a real special person or a selfish one. Whatever one I was it only lasted so long. The time came when it was the best thing for our relationship that she leave the house. I needed to stand up by myself and I would never know if I could if she kept caring me every time I whimpered that I wanted something. My mom sure was good at giving to me and I was even better at taking. It seemed like she had the world by her hands and yet she was going out of her way to make sure that I had what I wanted plus....while doing this she was bowering money to make it all happen. WHY didn't she just say NO. WHY didn't I see that I was draining her daily with my little wants. I love my mother, she no doubt did the best she knew how to do with all her own failures she endured throughout life.

As good as life can get living on the lake, it got even better. Satan had his way with me here for MANY years. I have fallen many times in sin and from drinking. I've slid into the deepest hole here when it came to sin....all areas of it. I'm not proud, but I am proud that God never gave up and continued with me until I finally seen the light. Even then when the light was shining I had a foot still dipping into sin. I longed for things I couldn't have and the things that I could have that was just waiting for me I took my time with. I'm glad I chose the right way. Gods way is not the wrong way ever. He showed me this when He blessed me with Alexis. I was so happy that she was mine and yet could not believe that a person of my sinful ways could be blessed with her. She sure has been a blessing and above. I wish my mom was here to see what an awesome child of God she is but its soothing to know that we'll be together again soon.

Alexis is going on 10 and has had a nice time out here on the lake but even she is looking forward to the new change. This is such a big house and its time for another family to come in and fill it up. Create new memories here and enjoy the lake. For us, we had good memories and some I'd like to forget but none the less take with me the things that have change me and molded me into the person who I am today.

I look forward to the place God brings us to, where ever it is. I hope some day He takes me to SOUTH AFRICA to a little village called Dixie.

Love ya tons!

Me