Relationships

Scary isn't it? I mean the ins and out of it can be so complicated. Ever finding yourself asking why? How come? What do you mean? Is it the way the person speaks or in my case its the way I hear it spoken.
No matter how one speaks to me whether in the most loving way or in a simple conversation I tend to have it twisted into something totally different to fit the way I think. Is this the right way? Probably not but for me thats how I work. Some would say that I listen with defending ears. Call that a default or a protection mechanism in me and I try to change it if I catch myself, which isn't often or often enough. I am usually told that I didn't hear it right but when I repeat it in my head it all makes sense to me.
Even though I listen with defending ears I very rarely take anything one may say intentionally or not and allow it to hurt me. I come from a strong line of hey if ya don't like me walk away, its that easy and more then not I won't look back twice. The first time being like, what? In a very confused way. That could be called a very cold heart, I think I am a very loving person who loves hard and long.
I wonder if at times that some if not 90% of any disagreement between people come from 1) not listening or listening with defending and 2) speaking right or speaking with an offending tone. I guess the one way to fix ALL problem then would be to chat only via paper so then no one would hear anyones tone at all. Simple I should write a book and make millions by telling everyone to stop speaking and start writing. HA! Write a letter you got to be kidding me.
I guess we could always take a minute longer and try to express ourself better and when we misinterpret what we have heard we can have the person re explain. All we have to do is ASK. Wow ask for something?

Deuteronomy 4:32
[ The Lord Is God ] Ask now about the former days, long before your time, from the day God created man on the earth; ask from one end of the heavens to the other. Has anything so great as this ever happened, or has anything like it ever been heard of?

Deuteronomy 10:12
[ Fear the LORD ] And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul,

Mark 11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

There are many reference to the word ASK in the bible. The point is we need to talk. When were talking we need to without offending and we need to listen without defending so we can HEAR whats really being said.

I love you! I really do. :)

Deb